Back in November, the Sunday morning announcements began to include an invitation to consider participating in a short term mission trip to the Foundation for His Ministries (FFHM) campus in Vicente Guerrero, Mexico.
Having recently welcomed home a friend from her own short-term mission experience to Tanzania, I (Crista) was feeling the itch to board a plane myself and serve in God's Kingdom work somewhere else in the world. This shouldn't shock anyone who knows me. After all, I have been to Mexico three times, Italy once, and Mongolia twice as a short-term missionary. (It was my hope to add Kenya to the list last year, but the upheaval of our lives in the move from Albany to Vancouver prevented this.) My friend encouraged me in my interest in joining her in a similar trip coming up this Spring.
It is in this context that David and I first heard the announcement about the formation of a team from Laurelwood Baptist Church. David immediately suggested that I consider joining the team and I made sure to pick up a brochure from the missions table before leaving church that Sunday.
I read the brochure and my enthusiasm for this particular trip waned...immediately. The trip was being "advertised" as a great FIRST experience in international missions. It would involve helping with "chores" around the FFHM compound, participating in Bible lessons and activities in the local community, and visiting some of the other ministries in the area over the one-week span of the trip. I thought to myself, "Eh...been there, done that. Not interested."
That was BEFORE I met and spoke with Bob & Sue. Bob & Sue are long-time members of LBC. Since retiring several years ago, Bob & Sue travel to Vicente Guerrero for 3-4 months out of each winter to serve in the ongoing ministry of FFHM there. Hearing their heart and passion for the ministry piqued my interested and I began to reconsider. I actually began to wonder if FFHM was where I traveled with my college/young-adult youth group as a freshman in college. Although the initial information session for the team had already passed by this time (mid December), I asked Sue to please contact the team leader, Michelle, and ask her to email me with more information about the team and the trip.
Again, I read the information from Michelle and thought, "Nah...not interested. Maybe next year." I replied in this vein to Michelle's email and said we'd be happy to support as we were able from home, I felt rather relaxed about this decision and almost forgot about the whole thing.
A strange thing happened, though...a few days later, at the ladies' Bible study gathering I attend on Tuesdays, another young mom (Sue's daughter-in-law, Allison) approached me and said, "I heard you're going to Mexico this spring! I'm going too!"
Uhm...awkward pause.
"Well, actually...I decided NOT to go. Maybe next year."
"Oh," said Allison. "I was really looking forward to going on the trip with you and getting to know you better."
Hmmm...the insecure middle schooler I harbor deep inside pricked up her ears at this. Someone else...someone I admire and respect and who seems so "cool" wants ME to be on the team, too?
I'd have to think on this.
The following Sunday, after Sunday school, I asked Sue how the team was coming together. "They're still waiting for one more," she said.
More thinking.
I asked Sue to pray specifically for me while she prayed for the team, that God would make Himself clear to me, if I was to join the team. This issue just wasn't going away and I began to seriously wonder if I was missing something.
In the subsequent week two weeks, a few important things happened...
First, I decided to attend the next Mexico team meeting (which had been rescheduled from Sunday, January 18th to the 25th)...just to find out more.
Second, on the Monday between the original meeting date and the actual meeting, I was given the book She is Mine: A War Orphans Incredible Journey of Survival (by Stephanie Fast) and devoured it in the span of two (very late) evenings. This woman's story of survival as a Korean War orphan gripped me and I put the book down in tears. God was rekindling in my heart a long-dormant desire to be part of His work to care for orphans around the world.
Third, on the Thursday before the meeting, Miss Gloria found me at MOPS and said, "Crista, you ARE going to Mexico." Who is Gloria and why does her opinion count? Because she a godly woman advanced in years, experience, and wisdom who does a LOT of work with the young moms and kids in our church. I was asking God to make Himself clear. He knows me. He knows what I need to hear. Gloria's declaration was, I think, #3 out of 3 confirmations. (My mom has told me on more than one occasion that God's direction comes in threes. I don't know if this is "Capital T" Truth or not, but the pattern IS evident in my life.)
By the time the 25th rolled around, however, I was still undecided, even with Gloria's solid declaration of my place on the team. I had been thinking about the team and the trip almost constantly and wondered if I should go or not. This was the first time I was being invited and prompted to go on an international mission trip that I was not FEELING like I wanted to go. I was concerned about getting hot and dirty, about who would take care of my girls if I go, and about "raising support." Also, I felt like the "confirmations" I was seeing came in the form of PEOPLE...other women, in particular. I did not want to sign up and commit to a mission trip just because women I like at church were saying I should go. I wanted to KNOW that this was God's will for me in THIS season and at THIS time and to THIS location.
Where was David in all of this?
Well, when I asked David (who had, I remind you, suggested it in the first place), he said, "If you want to go, Go. I support you and we'll figure out the details. It's a good opportunity to get in close on what our church is doing in world missions and you've been wanting to go somewhere. I went to Kenya...now it's your turn. This seems like a good opportunity, but it's up to you."
Oh. my. goodness. God was leading and directing, but He was not making it easy! At least, that's how it felt.
Finally, Sunday the 25th was upon me, but I was no closer to a decision. Instead of going to Sunday school class with David, I dropped the girls off in their classes and went to find a quiet spot to catch up on my Bible-in-a-year-maybe reading plan. I've been in the book of Matthew, reading about Jesus' life and ministry. Before cracking open my Bible, I prayed and asked God to clearly show me confirmation from HIS word about the decision I should make regarding the Mexico team. I was NOT disappointed. He used Jesus' own words-in-red to do it!
Jesus was going through all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every kind of disease and every kind of sickness. Seeing the people, He felt compassion on them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without a shepherd. Then He said to His disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Therefore beseech the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into His harvest."This was the verse I needed. In response to this passage, I recorded in my notes the following...Matthew 9:35-38
Lord, am I being called to drop what I'm doing here at home to go into the harvest? Need I not understand the OBVIOUS reason to go and just...go? Trusting that You see the bigger picture, and that You know the impact of an American church team coming in for a week to help...just coming alongside the people in their work to lighten their burden? Why wouldn't I want to do that?
You see, what was really holding me back was a lack of "want to" and a bit of pride. I was feeling like this trip to Mexico wasn't a big deal for ME. As I said above, "been there...done that." When I was a high school kid preparing to go to Mexico, I was thrilled at the prospect of doing BIG things for God by allowing my easy American lifestyle to be interrupted for a week by a trip to Mexico. As I prepared for Italy and Mongolia, I felt similarly...that I was preparing to do BIG things for God. And maybe BIG things did happen as a result of my participation on those teams. I know big things happened in my heart each time. Whether or not I had a specific, lasting, spiritual impact on anyone I met, helped, served, or spoke to on any of these trips is unknowable to me right now. Only God sees the bigger picture...the top of the tapestry as the beautiful picture comes together.
Sitting at the 60s-era dining table in the church kitchen, I realized that this trip was not about doing BIG things for God. It's about doing little things...little things that matter to Him.
We'll be doing many little things as a team this April when we travel to Mexico. You see, FFHM is a self-sustaining ministry. There's an orphanage of 90 kids, a learning center for disabled children, a day care and preschool for the children of single mothers, a multi-acre macadamia nut orchard, and a garden on the property. They do not need our team in order to run all of these projects effectively and successfully. They have enough staff and local volunteers. Rather, our team will have the pleasure of coming alongside those already doing the work and simply joining in for a week. We'll join in the work around the compound and in some activities in the local community run by the FFHM staff, like doing Bible lessons and activities with local children, visiting a ministry for men coming out of drug and alcohol addiction, and visiting a ministry for displaced single moms who are learning skills necessary to earn an income for themselves and their families. We'll also spend one evening watching over some of the orphans who live at the campus, so that their house parents can have an evening off. God only knows what else we'll be asked and invited to do while we're there.
This littleness of what we'll be doing is exactly why I'm NOW feeling so excited about being part of this team to Mexico in April. I get to enjoy serving alongside my brothers and sisters in Christ in Mexico, caring for orphans and for the greater community i myriad little ways, trusting the results entirely to God. Only HE knows the impact we will have. Only HE knows the ripple effects of our actions, of our participation. And I absolutely LOVE that He can be trusted with this information, for with God, all things are possible, so what seems very little now may become -- in His Time, by His Power, and in His Way -- very BIG results in the broad scope of His Kingdom work being accomplished on earth as it is in Heaven.
Last week at this time, I was ambivalent.
Today I am excited.
I get to go be little for a week in Mexico. And I'm really looking forward to it!
